Our new baby

Bob gave into the hunting gods this last weekend and traded-in his SUV for a truck. He is the proud owner of a Honda Ridgeline. He really wanted a full size truck, but apparently we have a shallow, sub-par garage (I’ve been called both of those things!).

So now he’s ready for hunting season and so is Sammie. She was giving a cricket hell today just warming up for the pheasant and quail.

On Sunday I went with a group of girls to see Wicked, and it was WICKED AWESOME! We had first and second row seats; so close we were dodging spit coming out of the actors’ mouths. It was so great and the costumes were feroush. We went out for dinner afterward and just had an all around great day.

Ray and I went to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra Monday evening. Again, an awesome show, but rather long. It lasted 2 1/2 hours, so Ray was getting a little squirmy in his chair. I tell ya, there is a lot of long hair being tossed around in a TSO show. Apparently you need to be a musical virtuoso first, and you must also have hair to the middle of your back. And it doesn’t have to be good hair. There was a lot of stringy, ratty  hair. One word people: Conditioner. Use it liberally. And if you want to keep it long, that’s cool, but you still need to get a trim once in a while so you don’t have split ends going up to your ears. Now that is a review you aren’t going to get in the local paper.

I went to the movies today (I am like so totally cultured) and saw Stepfather. We asked the girl selling tickets if she liked the movie. She said, “It was so-so. That’ll be seven dollars.” Way to sell it girl. It isn’t going to win any academy awards, but I tell ya, if you want a good suspenseful, jump out of your seat, where is he now movie, this is it. Why do people in thrillers always run away from the bad guy by going up the stairs, up into the attic? You are just trapping yourself. Duh. Have they never watched a thriller before. Call 911 and get the hell out of the house!

To cap off the day, I ordered Pizza Hut for dinner. They are giving 10% of their profits today to the Lord’s Diner. Yeah, I’m a giver. I’m sacrificing in order to better my community. Sigh. I am giving myself a toothache with all the sweetness pouring forth from my ultruistic soul.

Party planning

Today, dear readers, since we are nearing the holiday season, I will be giving you some tips for party planning and dinners. We all know what an excellent hostess I am and my frequent parties are the stuff of legends. So it’s only right that I share my knowledge.

Let’s start with Thanksgiving:                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Plan on 1/2 bottle of wine per person                                                                                                                                                                                                               350-375 degrees is the ideal temperature for reheating side dishes                                                                                                                                                                1 1/2# uncooked turkey per person                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Let the turkey rest 25 minutes before carving so juices can set                                                                                                                                                                   Add 2 T. sugar to 1 c. heavy cream before whipping

Serving dishes: don’t use heirloom or fragile dishes so if they get chipped or broken while being passed, guests won’t be embarrassed and you won’t be mortified that you can’t replace them                                                                                                                                                                                                              Large platters should have raised edges so food won’t slide off into Aunt Thelma’s lap                                                                                                                           Make it easier for guests to choose their favorite by serving white meat on one platter and dark meat on another

Tablecloth should hang a minimum of 12 inches but no more than 15 inces from the edges of the table                                                                                             Cotton, linen or high-quality cotton/polyester blend is best                                                                                                                                                           Tablecloth and napkins must be ironed–no way around it                                                                                                                                                                              A good size for a napkin is 24×24 square                                                                                                                                                                                                         The tablecloth and napkins don’t have to match. They can be coordinated by color or design. The napkins can be different colors as long as there some reason to it and it doesn’t look like you’ve stolen them from different restaurants

Now let’s talk liquor:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Average person drinks 1.5 oz liquor/hour                                                                                                                                                                                                         750 mL bottle serves 12 cocktails                                                                                                                                                                                                                             # of guests x # of hours/12 = # of bottles needed for party

Setting up a cocktail bar:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Liquor to save on:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Vodka–lower priced versions don’t have aggressively bad flavor like other liquors might (try Absolut or Rain Organics)                                                           Gin–usually combined with other ingredients, so you don’t have to buy top shelf (try Gordon’s)

Liquor to splurge on:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Bourbon–less expensive versions have burn and no flavor (try Knob Creek or Booker’s)                                                                                                                         Rum–cheaper brands won’t have rich flavor (try Mount Gay Eclipse Silver)                                                                                                                                Whiskey & scotch–usually drank straight or on rocks so get good stuff (try Glenmorangie Single Malt)                                                                                           Tequila–cheap tequila has corn syrup & grain alcohol which can lead to hangover (Patron Silver)

So my little chickens, these are my tips to get you through the holidays. Go forth and be fabulous.

(After posting this, I see the spacing is all jacked up. I’ve tried to fix it to no avail. So sorry.)

A sad, sad day

A great, great man has passed away. A man who truly embodied the American entrepreneurial spirit–Troy Smith. As you know, Troy was the founder of the fabulousness that is the Sonic Drive-In. He opened his first drive-in in Shawnee, OK in 1953. It was originally called Top Hat, but he later changed the name to Sonic to reflect the service that was at the speed of sound. There are now 3600 restaurants in 42 states serving 1 million customers a day.

Troy was 87 years old and recently in poor health. His funeral will be held Friday in Edmond, OK. I’m sure you join with me in sending sympathies to his family. Sigh. What a visionary.

I’m going to start a campaign to get his face or at least the Sonic logo on Mt. Rushmore. How can we not honor him in the same way we did our first president? Where would our country be without the greatness of Sonic ice served with your favorite beverage? And they don’t freak out when you order a burger with cheese only. Pretty good tots and fries, too.

So here’s to you Troy. You’re in a better place where it’s Happy Hour 24/7.

I’ve been cupcaked!

When we got home Sunday afternoon, a giant inflatable cupcake was hanging from the garage light. Just swaying in the breeze.

I haven’t identified the culprit yet, but I have it narrowed down to Jaki or Jill. Jill is the front runner. She works at Old Navy and told me a couple of weeks ago that they were having a birthday sale and decorated the store with inflatable cupcakes. Coincidence? I doubt it.

The tour of offspring was fun. Both are doing well. The Princess had an itch for a new car (she gets that from her dad) and we went with her Friday evening to look at some used cars. Although, I’m not sure why we were there. She handled the whole thing like a pro. I’m going to take her with me next time I buy a car. She decided to sleep on it. By the end of the evening she had found a new Murano online that was only $2000 more than the 2 year old Forerunner with 35,000 miles. While we were driving to Oklahoma Saturday morning, she made a deal and bought a new car! She called with some updates and then sent us a picture. You go girl!

Saturday we arrived in Oklahoma to see Sister Golden Hair. She is doing well. She took us to her favorite tavern where she and some friends are now regulars on Wednesday Karaoke night. It’s like Cheers when she walks in–everyone knows her name. Unfortunately, it wasn’t karaoke night so we didn’t get to witness a performance.

She locked her keys in her apartment (apparently for the third time). So we took her to Lowe’s and had multiple copies made. Hopefully she has those stashed in strategic places and this won’t be a problem anymore.

Then we drove home Sunday and began wading through mail. The long drive was a little hard on Ray’s new hip. Maybe too soon for such a long trip. I don’t know why we can’t just squirt a little oil on there like the Tinman.

Oh, mail wasn’t the only thing we had to wade through. Oreo, our cat, gets mad when we leave him for a few days. He usually displays his displeasure by pooping in a corner somewhere. His latest favorite place has been my craft room, so I closed the door. I walked into Ray’s “man room” in the basement and there was a poop explosion! There were 9, yes I said 9, different piles of cat poop. Apparently Oreo was really pissed off (or pooped off!). Ray wants to get rid of the cat, but he is in perfect health and going to outlive all of us. So what can you do?

Get over it

So the nurse calls me today and says all my levels look good. “Really? I feel so fatigued. My gyno did some bloodwork several wks ago and said my throid was low and I should check with my primary doctor.” The nurse said my level is a little low, but low is my normal. Um, ok. Is it just me or did that not make a lot of sense? I made an appointment with him next week to see what the deal is. Maybe it’s like when you call the appliance repairman, and by the time he shows up your appliance is fine. I’m hoping by next Tuesday I’ll feel fine and look back on this week and just shrug. So I decided to reward my hypochondriacal self (is that a word? If not it should be) and take a nap. Ha, take that! I’ll show you doctor! I realize that sounds a little crazy, because the doc will never know or care if I took a nap, and if he was aware, it would not impact his life in any way. But I feel like I stuck it to him a little bit. (Hey, I never presented myself as a model of mental health.)

So then I call the spa guy. He tells me I need to clean out one of the filters. He tells me how to do it and another step if that doesn’t work. I do what he says and I’m still getting the error message. I call him back and he says he’ll come out. He came out later and put in a new filter and says everything is fine now. It’s the repair guy thing. He did what he told me to do and it worked. Whatever. Maybe it will make more sense to me next time.

Tomorrow Ray and I are off for Visit the Offspring Tour. Jaki wants me to bring back a tour t-shirt for her. Not a bad idea. Maybe I can get the girls to help me design one. We’re going to start off in Texas then hit Oklahoma on the return trip. I’m sure it will involve several dinners on Mom & Dad as well as a trip or two to Target and the grocery store.

I’ll blog ya’ll later!

Another day, same thing

No change, still drag-ass tired. Blah, blah, blah. Who isn’t tired, right?

So moving on. When Ray got home tonight he wanted to sit in the hot tub and asked if I wanted to join him. “No, I need to finish paying bills and start dinner, but you go ahead and have a good soak before dinner.” A few minutes later he’s walking through the room with his head hanging. What? He says the tub is freezing. WTH? It’s supposed to be a self-checking system; if there is a mechanical problem it runs a circuit trying to detect and fix it. I asked what the display said. “I dunno. Can’t read it.” So I get the manual out and look at the display. The water temp is 84 degrees and should be 99 degrees. The display is flashing something about a filter or valve obstruction. The water level is also a little low. First we drag out a hose and attach it to the spigot on the sprinkler well, but we can’t get it to work. So next I drag a different hose over and fill it up. Still flashing there’s a problem. It’s getting dark, I’m tired, frustrated and over it. I don’t know what else to do, so I close it up and I’ll call the spa people tomorrow. I’m sure it’s something obvious/easy that I’m overlooking. Wouldn’t be the first time.

So now I have to put 2 hoses away, kill a spider the size of my palm, and I spend a few more minutes trying to figure out what’s wrong with the well spigot. Ugh. I have now spent 45 minutes on this issue and I still haven’t fixed dinner.

I finally get tilapia put in the oven (I know! Not only did I cook, but I cooked fish! And truth be told, it was pretty good.) and at 7:40pm dinner is served. Considering Ray goes to bed at 8pm that was a little late. Ate dinner, paid the bills and then looked at our account online to make sure I had recorded everything. Again, WTH? Four different bills I have recorded in my ckbook as being paid the first of the month are nowhere to be seen online. Apparently I dreamt that I paid them and then just decided to record them anyway. Ugh!!! So much for me being a bucket o’ sunshine today.

As Scarlett O’Hara said, “Tomorra is anotha day.”

In a fog

WARNING: There is a high whine-o-meter today. I am so frickin’ tired. I have been feeling this way off and on for 2 weeks, but for the last 5 days it is relentless. I feel like I’m walking through waist high water. Even the smallest things are taking supreme effort. I was just a major slug all weekend. I don’t know what’s going on. I had lab work done today to re-check my throid level. If it isn’t low, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I told Jaki if my medication doesn’t need to be adjusted I’m going to start taking speed. I’m sure she has some connections. She has all kinds of people.

About mid-morning today I had a little talk with myself and said, “this has to stop.” So I decided mind over matter. I popped a vivarin and got a big Sonic diet coke. I didn’t get the normal jolt. I think I got a bad batch. Jaki’s people better sell me some pure stuff. I made it through the day with no nap. Have you ever driven somewhere and looked up and wondered how you got there? I ran some errands in the afternoon and at one point  I said, “Dude. I don’t even remember driving here.” That can’t be good. Probably as bad as drunk driving. I had a mammogram this afternoon and have decided going in half awake is the way to go. It didn’t seem near as painful as usual. I was thinking, “Is that all you got? Bring it on!” I have an embossing machine at home. I could run my boobs through it in the comfort (maybe not comfort) of my own home AND put a cool design on them!

So tomorrow I am going to work out no matter how tired I am. I pledge to put on eye make-up and dress like an adult that understands how to match patterns without having garanimals. I am going to be focused and productive. I am just going to be an overflowin’ bucket ‘o sunshine!

Stamping weekend

To make up for a lack of posting, I’m putting up 2 blogs in one day! I went with my stamp group on our annual stamp weekend to Kansas City (except that we hadn’t been in 2 years, and only 3 of 5 could attend. But other than that it was annual and everyone was there.) We got there Friday morning and went straight to the convention and started shopping. After a full day of shopping there we hit Archivers. I don’t care if you aren’t into stamping/scrapbooking you want to own this even if you don’t know what to do with it. It’s so cute!

So after shopping, we head to the hotel. We always stay at Embassy Suites because we love the free happy hour and breakfast. Happy hour had already begun so Scarlett and Jill headed to the bar to get our drinks and table while I checked us in. I could see people seated in rows and could hear a man speaking on a mike, but it was difficult to hear him over the roar of the waterfall. I figured there was some kind of conference and they were wrapping it up. Oh no. There was a wedding in the lobby of the hotel in the middle of happy hour. This was too good. Of course I started snapping pics and I was not the only one.

Yes, Keeney and Troy exchanged vows in the Embassy Suites lobby during free happy hour in front of about 50 of their family and friends and another 60 drunken onlookers with the roar of a waterfall and cheers of freeloaders over-indulging. I get trying to do a wedding on a budget, but really? Really? It was a bit cheesy and tacky. They stood in front of the glass elevator lined with lights to take pictures. I’ll bet those pics are going to look good with the elevator moving in the background filled with little kids in swimsuits waving at the camera.

After pronouncing them man and wife, all of happy hour cheered and clapped for the new couple and Jill, emboldened with several bloody marys, walked over and asked the bride if she could take a picture with her. Sure! Say cheese. . .

They moved the reception into a conference room in the hallway. We tried several times to sign the guestbook, but were never successful. We did, however, stumble onto the Recipe for Friendship bible study group. They had spiffy chef hats so we each tried them on.

Jill is really workin’ that hat. She was giving it her best runway walk.

I don’t know what I’m doing with my hand. I noticed I did that in a picture from Uncle Buck’s party. What is up with the claw? Maybe I have some sort of seizure when I see a flash of light.

Jill and Stella’s recipe for friendship includes alcohol.

We were tired after celebrating the nuptials so we headed to our room. After a made to order free breakfast Saturday morning we headed back to the convention and took 3 classes then did more shopping. Here is one of the cards we made. Pretty cute, huh?

After a second full day of stamp fabulousness and shopping what is a girl to do but head back to the hotel for another free happy hour?! We pulled up to the hotel at 6pm and there was a guy puking in the bushes. WTH? Dude, it’s 6pm and you’re already puking? There was a big group going to the Chiefs game the next day and apparently they partied all the way to the hotel. The rest of the group got trashed at happy hour and one big obnoxious dude spilled a tray of drinks and broke glass. Classy.

This hotel was the mecca for people watching. In addition to the Chiefs group, there was the pilgrim woman, 3 Musketeer, and dreadlock dude. I don’t know. I can’t explain it, but they were together.

I had to try to be stealth photographer. This shot was taken under Jill’s arm.

I snapped this pic of dreadlock dude in the beer line. Eeww. I wonder how many years he has been working on those. They were nasty. Oh, and yes, that is a baby he’s holding in his arms. Who knows, there could have been another one hiding in the dreads.

We headed home Sunday, so that is a wrap up of the weekend. Great fun, good shopping and awesome people watchin’.

Welcome to our outhouse, er house

Yes, that’s a toilet seat as part of a fall tableau on our front porch. When I got home from being gone over the weekend, I found Ray’s surgery toilet seat in the dining room. I said, “What the hell?” He said he didn’t need it anymore, so he moved it out of the bathroom. Ok, and the logical place to put it is in the dining room?

I was getting some fall decorations out and thought it would look nice on the porch. SGH was home visiting and she was in total agreement and helped me decide whether mums or sunflowers complemented the commode more. Ray is horrified and can’t believe I’m going to put it on the porch. No more horrified than I was when the 2 friends who went with me to KC came in the house and saw it in the dining room!

So to continue with the outhouse theme:

Yes, that’s a crockpot in my master bathroom. I put a turkey breast in the crockpot this morning and it was a little too big, the lid didn’t sit flush. So I put some foil over it to keep the heat in. Then as I was getting ready to leave the house for several hours, I thought, “Hmm. With the lid sitting loose will the aroma be stronger than normal, and will my dog who eats anything and can get into anything, eat that 6 pound turkey breast while I’m   gone?” I’ve left things in the crockpot before and never thought anything of it, but today a little voice was telling me “Don’t do it. You will regret it.” So I did the next best thing. I put it in the bathroom and closed the door. I’m back after several hours and still have a turkey AND as an added bonus, my bathroom smells yummy. How many of you can say that?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

More baking

I’ve done some more baking in the last few weeks. My first attempt was cake pops that were supposed to look like apples, but more closely resembled marshmallows dipped in red coating. I didn’t have the right materials so I couldn’t put leaves on, but there are stems! Let your eyes go a little fuzzy and you can see the apples:

Then Jaki commissioned me to make football shaped cake pops for AJ’s team. How hard could it be to make a football, right? Pretty hard it turns out. It was hard to keep them 3D and not flat. They resembled potatoes until I put the stitching on. All the pops, whether misshapen apples or footballs, tasted good so I got that goin’ for me!

Friday I made chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. I decided to kick them up a notch by chopping up some peanut butter cups on top. Yu-um.

And speaking of cupcakes, Jaki brought me this candle. Isn’t it the cutest damn thing you’ve ever seen?